Happy 2009!

Another New Year and another opportunity to take some time to reflect on the past year and anticipate the one ahead. We had a wonderful 2008 and look forward to all that 2009 has to offer.

I always like to take a few moments and review how the past year went and to take a hard look at some of the things that I would like to have changed. It's like taking stock of your life and weeding out the negatives in the hope of gaining more positive. It's not always an easy process because for me, it involves looking at myself and my relationships with others and evaluating what needs to change. It can mean making some difficult choices and removing contact with some people or simply stepping back with others. It can mean making more of an effort with someone else and it certainly means trying to fine tune myself (I am a continuing work in progress after all!).

I won't share all of my resolutions (as some of them are private) but there are a few that I will share if you care to read about them:

• I will stop worrying about how I might screw up my girls and instead focus on how I loved my girls each day.
• I will finish decorating my house and finish off all the small things that need to be done.
• I will continue to love my job and be grateful for the fun that it is. I will work each day as if I am working directly for God.
• I will have a better attitude for teaching Sunday School (anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a teacher by nature).
• I will leave the cleaning and laundry and chores and live in the moment with my kids.
• I will let go of past hurts and see those around me for who they are - one of God's children. I want to be accepted for who I am and must therefore do the same for others. No, they might not always meet my expectations but I'm sure that I don't always meet theirs.

I also took some time this year to reflect on my marriage. I am continually grateful for my husband who loves me unconditionally and who is here day in and day out loving me and our girls. Loving another person and standing by them is not always an easy task and here is 2009's ten secrets to a happy marriage:

• God has you here to serve one another. Love acted out is serving.
• Women need respect and nurturing. Love your wife so she knows you'd lay your life down for her. Continue to date her and admire her. Share a hobby - find something you can do to have fun together.
• Laugh often.
• Be patient. Love crumbles quickly under the weight of unmet expectations.
• Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.
• Keep short accounts. The Bible says, "Do not let the sun go down while you are angry." Make it a habit to forgive.
• Determine up front that divorce is not an option.
• Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen. The love languages are fairly simple: acts of service, time, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. Learn them. Love is better received when it's in the language that person speaks.
• Words of affirmation are a love language for all men.
• Men are born to be leaders. he cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so. If you love your husband, build him up. Confident men do not seek love outside the home. (Courtesy Karen Kingsbury)

Certainly this is not an all inclusive list but each year, I try to find a starting point and work from there. I've had other lists that I've put up in the house (I'm a visual person) and I find it helpful to have the reference point.

We wish you all the best as 2009 unfolds. May this year be a blessing to you and your families!