We've Become Those People We Swore We'd Never Be...

I always swore that I would never be a van driver. On Saturday morning, that promise to myself went out the window when we picked up our new van. I do have to admit that I really like it though! We have so much more room and I sit much higher and can see the road much easier. It's also awesome to be able to get Emily in and out without wrenching my back every time or hitting her head on the roof of the car! So all in all, it was a great purchase! Here are some pictures of it.

Our friend Val married her Australian sweetheart on Saturday. It was an awesome wedding and Val looked beautiful!

Greg getting ready to enter the beer drinking contest.

We've Been Busy

We've had quite a busy few weeks here at the van Leeuwen household. We've attended a surprise 60th birthday party (complete with a barbequed whole hog) for my aunt and uncle, we celebrated my nephew's first birthday, Emily discovered a new love for swings and we bought a van. Greg's car died on us last Saturday and since then we've been borrowing Greg's sister's car but on Thursday night we made the plunge and bought a 2006 Dodge Grand Caravan. We pick it up tomorrow morning after we sign all the paperwork. After that we are attending a wedding for one of Greg's friends so tomorrow should be busy.

Emily swinging with her cousins at my Auntie Cathy and Uncle Dave's surprise party.




Emily's new passion - swinging (although she calls the swings "whee").












Emily got a new toy at her Grandmy and Grandpy's house - a bouncy horse which she loves to play on.

Happy birthday Noah!










Emily "playing" with another little boy at Noah's party. He kept trying to undress her and she was not too happy about it!

Happy Mother's Day Mommy!

Emily not happy to be on the back of a firetruck with Alexandre and Lachlan Brakel.

Me at 22 weeks along - baby is doing very well!

Update

Things have been going reasonably well for us as of late. I was off of work for about 5 days after our ultrasound and then felt like getting back into the grove of things again so I returned on Wednesday. I headed off to an audit which was a blessing because it kept me busy and made the time pass. On Thursday (May 10) I started bleeding and we went to the hospital to get checked out. This time I was far enough along in my pregnancy that we could skip emergency all together and head straight up to the ob ward and were seen immediately. They checked on the baby's heartbeat (solid 145) and checked my temperature and blood pressure which were both normal. They did an ultrasound and the baby looked great and then they did a few other checks to make sure that I wasn't dilating and going into labour. I'm supposed to not get stressed out and to get more rest (right - running after a toddler). I was off of work again for the rest of the week and returned this past Monday (May 21). The bleeding started again on Tuesday but stopped after a day and they told me not to worry about it unless it changed and got worse. The baby has been moving a lot lately and I have to monitor how much the baby is moving too.

This weekend we are spending part of the weekend looking for a new vehicle, starting the demolition on Emily's new room, doing some yard work and going to a wedding social for a friend of mine. It will be nice to have an extra day off on Monday and then have a short work week next week. Summer is finally here!

Some Sad News

Greg and I had an ultrasound this past Thursday afternoon. We found out that we had lost one of the twins.

For those of you finding out by reading our blog, we do apologize that we were not able to tell you ourselves. It has been a difficult few days for us and we tried to contact as many people as possible and then left the rest up to the rumor mill and the Internet.

There are almost no words to express how we are feeling right now. Its a mess of emotions. There is great sadness for the loss of one baby. I'll speak for myself here and not for Greg, but I feel cheated out of the "specialness" of having twins. I feel such sadness and loss that I will never get to hold my second baby, and that our family will miss out on that third child.

Then there is great joy in finding out that the other baby is healthy at this point (although my worry about this one is much greater now). We give thanks and praise to God for the gift of one healthy baby.

The hardest part is that nobody can really understand what it is like to lose one and yet still have the other. I've gotten comments like "well at least you still have one" and even one "you'll get over it". I know that these comments come from the place of trying to help but having one healthy baby does not mean that I shouldn't grieve the loss of the second. This was still my child and we were so excited to be expecting two.

I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow but from what the ultrasound doctor told us, what happened was called vanishing twin phenomenon. You can read up a bit more about this at http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/scans/twoembryosonebabyexpert/. Basically, the likelihood is that one of the babies was not healthy but at six weeks, it had a heartbeat and at that point, was considered a viable pregnancy. At some point, the baby stopped developing normally and died. However, my hormone levels remained high enough to prevent a miscarriage and the second babies' sac grew and absorbed the other baby's sac.

Although this has been a challenging time for us, I can say that I have felt God's presence strongly these past few days. I have not felt alone and He has provided great comfort in the flowers, cards, phone calls, e-mails, blogger posts and visits from family, friends and co-workers. We truly appreciate everyone's support over the past few days.

I was debating even going to church on Sunday because I wasn't sure that I could handle the questions and what not, but I felt this need to go. The sermon was on finding thanksgiving in all times and spoke to my heart and it was very much needed. The passage that was preached was Philippians 4 (see the top of our blog) and it was good to hear that message again.

I'll leave this post with one final verse that has helped a great deal through the past few days. Its from the book of Proverbs, chapter 3 verse 5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight".

We're Still Alive and Kicking

Contrary to popular opinion - we are still alive and well. And (drum roll please) tax season is over!!! Oh joy! Well actually its over on Monday but the last day of tax season is usually a pretty laid back day and we all leave early to party. So for all intents and purposes - I'm done.

Now for some updates. Emily is doing so great. She's growing like a weed still and is just about 18 months old (my how time flies). She's very tall (some of her 24 month clothes almost don't fit her anymore) and she's starting to put her words together for sentences. Her latest words of choice however are "no" and "bye".

And now for some updated pictures:

Emily "helping" Uncle Kelly and Daddy move patio stones into the backyard.

Emily and Daddy dancing before getting ready for church.

Happy Easter everybody! We had an Easter egg hunt at Grandmy and Grandpy's and then got some more goodies at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Emily cheering on the Canadian women's hockey team at the world championships which were held here at the MTS Center. Our women won the gold handily (must have been all that cheering from Emily)!

Emily riding around in Daddy's new wheelbarrow. She thought that was the greatest thing ever.

Emily helping Daddy get the tiller out so he could get started on the garden.

17 Weeks

I saw my OB for the first time on Thursday morning. I have only gained a pound in the last month which means that in total I have actually only gained 4 pounds so far. I still find that hard to believe with how big my belly is already!

I've had to start taking iron three times a day, an extra folic acid pill once a day and an extra calcium pill once a day along with my prenatal vitamin. As Dr. Taylor puts it - "those babies are sucking you dry".

I have my second ultrasound on May 3 so that will be nice to see how everybody is doing. I also had a triple screen test done last week to test for downe syndrome and spina bifida. Dr. Taylor said she would call if the test came back positive within a week so no news is good news. She said that it is possible for the test to come back positive with twins and then we would have an ultrasound to rule things out for sure.

I will be off of work and on disability somewhere between my 25th and 28th week. That puts me off of work somewhere between June 12 and July 3. I am hoping to make it to the end of June and then start July off with Emily and get to spend some quality time with her before the twins are born.

My due date stays at September 25 and we will just have to wait and see how things go and hopefully everybody stays puts until after August 25 - anything above that time the doctors consider a bonus.

I will start having fetal assessments every three weeks or so at about 22 weeks. They may be more frequent depending on what they are monitoring for but I'm hoping that once every three weeks will be sufficient.

That's all the updates for now. We'll keep you posted.

15 Weeks

I worked from home today so that I could take care of Keizer. I took him to the vet this afternoon and he is now on antibiotics for the next 10 days. Hopefully they will help him start to feel better!

Here are some pictures of Emily's new bed (although she will have nicer bedding than what the store had on display - yuck).

Emily's new dresser.

Finally, me at 15 weeks. I am about as big in this picture as I was when I was 6 months pregnant with Emily. Scary - very scary.